a letter to my 30 year old self
I write this to you on your 40th birthday. Yes, you made it to 40. The last 10 years have been scary and hard. You have overcome many obstacles and lived to tell about them. I felt like you could use some advice though. This will be in no particular order except for the last one…so …here we go.
Something amazing is right around the corner. Those moments when you feel like just throwing in the towel on life, I don’t blame you for feeling that way but again i say, something amazing is right around the corner.
Your best creative work is in front of you. You will become the artist you longed to become.
The impact you will have on students lives will be reminiscent of Dianne and Louis. Remember what they both taught you because you will need it.
Remember to not just focus on the art. The people are what make the art great.
Your first job out of grad school will feel like it never arrives. When it does, you prove to everyone around you and yourself that you can accomplish a lot. That job will help you prepare for the company you will eventually start. It will give you the tools. You will learn a lot from the people around you and the students who’s path you cross.
Anxiety is real in the coming years. You will battle it daily but I’m here to tell you that help is around the corner and never be afraid to ask for help or to take medicine.
The pain you are feeling right now will not last forever. As a matter of fact, it won’t last long. In just a couple of months you will walk out of your therapists office with a chapter closed and you will be healed.
Continue to live by exploring the next adventure. You’ll need that when you meet your future wife.
Keep running but stop running from things and start running to them. It will save you pain and thousands of dollars in therapy.
Yes, you get married. You travel half way across the country for your first date. She is worth it, trust me. She will change your life and she will love you in a way you didn’t even know you needed to be loved.
Your true friends are still by you when you turn 40. You realize its okay to let people get close to you and you stand the test of time with your best friend. Your friends are your family and never forget that.
You realize in your mid 30’s that how you engage God looks different than it did before. Remember that God only wants to see your authentic self. You can’t hide from his love and He loves you no matter what.
You’ll become the father you always wanted to be and to not just one but two children. They will both be just like you.
As you embark on the end of your 30’s know that a big change is coming. You’ll leave a career you’ve known since you were in your 20’s. You will fight it but trust me when I say, its going to be okay. Taking a step back is going to give you more time with your children and wife. You’ll make more money and have weekends. Theatre isn’t going anyway and it will be there for you when you are ready to go back to it.
Keep livin’ the dream!
I leave you with this: There will be a day about seven years from now that you will think that you have nothing to live for. I’m living proof that this isn’t true and your 40yr old self is so proud of you for not giving up. Just know you’ve climbed your Everest and made it out to tell about it. Your wife and kids are so proud of you.
Happy birthday.
